Lunch: Deep-Fried Tarantula Spider

Recipe by David George Gordon Readers of earlier printings of my cookbook were treated to the sad tale of my failed attempt to acquire specimens of the world's biggest arachnid, the goliath bird-eating spider (Theraphosa blondi as the pièce de résistance

Ingredients

2 cups canola or vegetable oil
2 frozen adult Texas brown, Chilean rose, or similar-sized tarantulas, thawed
1 cup tempura batter
1 teaspoon smoked paprika

Instructions

In a deep saucepan or deep-fat fryer, heat the oil to 350 °F.
With a sharp knife, sever and discard the abdomens from the two tarantulas. Singe off any of the spider's body hairs with a crème brûlée torch or butane cigarette lighter.
Dip each spider into the tempura batter to thoroughly coat. Use a slotted spoon or your hands to make sure each spider is spread-eagled (so to speak) and not clumped together before dropping it into the hot oil.
Deep-fry the spiders, one at a time, until the batter is lightly browned, about 1 minute. Remove each spider from the oil and place it on paper towels to drain.
Use a sharp knife to cut each spider in two lengthwise. Sprinkle with the paprika and serve. Encourage your guests to try the legs first and, if still hungry, to nibble on the meat-filled mesothorax, avoiding the spider's paired fangs, which are tucked away in the head region.